Kiran’s World

The latest trend in men’s undergarments: luxury briefs. As long as this fad continues, I embrace the future. I will also simultaneously unembrace pants. - Kiran

                                                                                    SAY CHEESE!

You know how it is Valentine Bear - I almost didn’t mention it. I kind of didn’t want to, but I felt I had to. So earlier this week I wearily conceded that yes, I was “spotted” last Friday night romancing ladies and stealing butterfly kisses in public places. Because romance is my forte. However for the ladies who want to be slobbered on like, say, a hamburger, they’ll have to see Elmo. - Kiran

Kiran has finally released his long awaited judo-fighting DVD. Naturally! And when he’s not busy posing shirtless, dating gymnasts or flexing his iron fists, the judo champ can be found practicing his Nage no Kata and Katame no Kata. - Shaan

Much of my day is spent trolling the floor and over the past few weeks I have unearthed an impressive collection of anthropological doodads such as Kiran’s old “I dated the Bush Twins” onesie, opposable lego thumbs and Elmo’s fruitini drink tickets. - Shaan

The essential problem with oral hygiene in America? Americans are too lazy to move their forearms in short back-and-forth motions while brushing. Let me remind everyone that brushing your teeth helps you burn 3 valuable calories a day. And brushing using non-traditional dental utensils helps build upper-arm strength. - Kiran

Elmo broke his arm the other day and poured Ny-Quil on it. But that didn’t seem right. So I poured Pepto-Bismol - because as we all know Pepto cures everything from traveler’s diarrehea to belching. *strokes beard* I should be a doctor. Wait, I don’t have a beard! I’m getting sued aren’t I? - Shaan

                                                                                        SMILE OF THE DAY

THE MATHS

Today I’m explaining my dating strategy via mathematical equations…and as you can plainly see, this relationship beginning equals this. And that equals this. And me equals this. And her times me equals me divided by… something… - Kiran

Young people can be so unprepared sometimes. Take yesterday for instance, Vivienne Jolie-Pitt was completely unable to stand for our photo shoot - she was actually propped upright by a series of reduced-scale flying buttresses and an unnamed three year-old. True story. - Kiran