Don’t brag about your squat-press capabilities unless you’ve gone grocery shopping at Costco with Dad. Sans the assistance of a shopping cart, my quadriceps were quivering under the weight of produce-laden bags of 10 lb fruits, while my stomach muscles strained with the heft of frozen free-range chicken fingers and twin three-liter jugs of Martinelli’s apple juice. – Kiran
As some of you know, my stint as a guest interviewer on E! comes to a close this Friday. Oddly, no matter what the subjects been – popes, events of world import, flourescent cheese – most viewers were more interested in my hair. It’s an unorthodox choice, but one with which I heartily concur. – Kiran
When I open up a blog to accompany my morning milk, I like to see links that take you to even more links — like when you take a photo of someone taking a photo of someone taking a photo of someone who’s snapping a picture of someone pretending to “hold up” the Taj Mahal. (And if you’re able to get far enough back, you can end up with a hi-resolution satellite photo of India.) – Kiran
SMILE OF THE DAY
MY FOUR FAVORITE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE NAMES FOR MYSELF
Actor Name: Freddie de Cortez
Anime Fan Name: Magical Fish Bishie
Vampire Name: Claudius Choiseul
Rock Star Name: Ron Neil
CLEANING LADIES
I have one. Her name is Mei-Mei and she’s great. Right now she’s in Shanghai visiting family. I pay her $15/hour but always just give her $50 no matter how long she cleans my room. What am I doing with a cleaning lady? I know, it’s insane. I’m ashamed and yet I’m deeply grateful I don’t have to clean my own bathroom, mainly because Elmo clogs the drain with his fur. – Kiran
I wear tight jeans and boots and I like how it looks when I tuck the former into the latter. Someone informed me that that look is kind of over, but I like it. Because if you don’t do that, it looks like you have cankles. – Kiran
SERIOUSLY? WE’RE OUT OF MILK? OH MY GOD! (Zebbie! Cue the sirens and/or car alarms for extra drama.) – Kiran
No, really Mom – driving down Sunset Boulevard in a convertible Hummer, surrounded by Olsen twins and drinking caviar-flavored Mai-Tai’s from Faberge eggs was all Elmo’s idea. – Kiran
Last night, Big Pinky was able to get into Mr. Potatohead’s new “21 and over” club called SPUD. How did he manage it? Big Pinky’s Dad let him use his ID. (How cool is that?) But how Big Pinky — who weighs around 5 ounces and sometimes suffers from alopecia—can pass for his hirsute 62-year-old father is a source of constant amazement to me. – Kiran