Kiran and Shaan's World

July 31, 2008

INTERNAL MEMO

To: Staffers at Kiran’s World

Re: Office Conduct

As you know, Shaan has been visiting our office on a regular basis as a guest writer. Shaan is a consummate professional and a terrific blogger. That said, I have noticed staffers imposing themselves upon Shaan to a point that this email has become necessary. Consequently I am requesting that all staff members and interns refrain from squeezing Shaan’s muscles or asking him to crush watermelons with his biceps or calves whenever he enters the office. If there are requests for photos or signatures, they must all be submitted to Russell or Zebbie in advance. They will try to accommodate requests in due course.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Sincerely,

Kiran

Who hosts better dinner parties? Well, Burt and Ernie have a flair for throwing buffets. They bring “a good mix” and get people to talk about the general issues of the day. Progressive. Oscar the Grouch on the other hand likes to present guests with a menu straight out of an old Spanish novel. Sure he can be all death-stares one minute, tapas recommendations the next, but his dulce frylitos are to die for. – Kiran

Elmo and I spent a sun soaked weekend in Acapulco and had a marvelous time. However I would like to use this opportunity to address some of the rumors concerning Elmo and our activities during the weekend. I want to keep this short so let me just address some inaccuracies I’ve overheard so far:

– We stayed at the Villa Cristal Resort in Acapulco and Elmo did not pay off the locals to push around our cart at Wal-Mart. Also, it was a Super Wal-Mart;
– The filthy-mouthed parrot named ‘Lorenzo’ had already been trained when we arrived. Elmo and I had no part in his training;
– Elmo plead nolo contendere to threatening Lorenzo with his GPS device*; and
– I’m not sure where that picture came from but Elmo’s drink of choice is a Kir Royale, not a Bud Light.

* I totally remember when something like that happened on ‘Entourage’! Or wait, was it on ‘Cops’?

VIDEO OF THE DAY

[Editor’s Note: Remember to turn on your volume.]

And you thought your hair style was talented? A mere dilettante when compared to Shaan, the fabulous hairdo-master himself. – Kiran

VIDEO OF THE DAY

From an early age I always knew I wanted to be a business tycoon. I remember my most closely cherished dream: my secret lust for money – vast loads of it. At night I clutched my pillow and imagined it to be a harsh burlap sack with a big black dollar sign on it. All I really need is a couple million to start, just enough to buy something in Beverly Hills that’ll triple in value in a decade. – Kiran

While Kiran wasted away in jury duty today, he texted me that he’s short on cash these days. I can relate. Since my own recent budget problems, I have been forced to choose between pawning my complete Chuckie Cheese animatronic puppet collection or giving up my controlling stake in Dreamworks. – Shaan

The router is down? This is the third time today. Honestly, we’re really going to have to look into replacing our tech team. I bet they don’t even know what an RS-232 booster chip* is for. – Kiran

[Answer: Dual Layer Pentium McWhopper]

Yesterday was gorgeous. It was warm and sunny and trees were flowering. People strolled around, hand in hand. Moods seemed lifted. And today is supposed to be about the same! I feel so rejuvenated…like the world is a special place. – Shaan