What’s everyone up to today? Zebbie and Russell are doing all sorts of non-traditional spiritual stuff, Elmo is dressed in a unicorn pelt and magical staff with which he can summon eagles and Kiran is working on his igloo-decorating simulator. – Shaan
POTTY TRAINING SYMPOSIUM
I’d just like to add that as a seasoned toilet user, let me say that utilizing the toilet is a sign of independence and freedom. It screams out “Hey society, I’m not going to be limited by oppressive diapers – I’m a man on the go and I don’t have time for diaper changes.” And ‘modern plumbing’ is sexy. Way sexy. – Kiran
Well, we finally made it back home. We fought our way through hellacious traffic — 45 minutes on the off-ramp alone! — and battled through the blazes that engulfed the famed clocktower from Back to the Future and out-raced the giant boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Is that why I am suddenly so compelled to hit the Chianti, and hard? – Shaan
BREAKING NEWS
OMG! Dora the Explorer has ten fingers on her right hand?! And she isn’t the only one. Sponge Bob Squarepants has six fingers on his left hand! Also, the number of Americans continuing to receive unemployment benefits has topped 5.1 million. But anyway DORA! TEN FINGERS! THAT’S NUTS! – Kiran
CAMERA-READY
NOT CAMERA-READY
This morning I overheard some questionable noises that may or may not have been the sound of emphysema gurgles or a door squeaking. But now I am painfully and tinglingly sure that the faint tooting I heard was indeed Shaan’s virtuosic backwind concertos. – Kiran
SMILE OF THE DAY
Today we will be ensconced in the living room where we will be watching obscure documentaries – like the unheralded Sahara which provides photographic evidence of a Civil War ship full of gold buried in the Sahara Desert. [whisper, whisper] Wait – what do you mean Sahara wasn’t a documentary? – Kiran
Ummm, it has been brought to my attention that a week has passed with no posts about A) supermodels, B) puppies or C) Ferraris. We apologize for our topical deviations and promise “A Return to Tradition” next week (Isn’t it sweeps soon?). Frankly, we have been distraught about new plotlines in the Serena/Dan constructs of Gossip Girl this past week. I have been personally made extremely ill by it. Also, obviously, I am afloat in an extreme delightful romantic obsession. Next week: more supermodels, puppies and Ferraris. Pinkie swear. – Kiran
What’s wrong with Elmo? Oh, he’s just sulking because Flashdance is on. Very few people know that Elmo was originally up for the lead role in Flashdance but lost it to Jennifer Beals. Instead, they made him sing the title song, “Flashdance (What a Feeling).” Did I mention that Elmo’s middle name is Irene Cara? – Shaan