Kiran and Shaan's World

THE 51st ANNUAL CHARADES TOURNAMENT

[Elmo pantomimes a strange series of limps and arm gestures.]

“Rasputin!” “Dr. Laura!” “Yoda!” “Richard Gere!” “Punky Brewster!” – Zebbie

“Ummmm…I thought the category was real people.” – Kiran

Sometimes I really have to get the synapses firing on all cylinders to come up with material to post. And sometimes the jokes just write themselves. Today’s photo is clearly an example of the latter. – Kiran

I enthusiastically embrace the forward march of technology! If any budding Einsteins out there can come up with something that will completely incinerate the ’87 Dodge Diablo who blocked our car from exiting the parking lot today, I will nominate you for a Nobel Prize. – Kiran 

This week don’t let anything come between you and your pants. Especially diapers: The devil’s most sinister form. “I rebuke you, diapers!” – Kiran

Yup, it’s the age-old dilemma faced by men all around the world: How to attract women. Elmo’s advice: Be cheesy and buy her greasy food. It’s interesting advice that contravenes the conventional wisdom. I had no idea that “You want fries with that?” was a solid pickup line. And this whole time I’d been working that whole “pay attention to what she says, treat her like an equal, let her know you find her attractive” angle. Who knew? – Kiran  

Sorry for the lack of posts. Why are we experiencing technical difficulties? Just as my horoscope predicted last week, today I confused a bowl of soup for the network. (Is that why my internet is so slow – and delicious!) Please return tomorrow for new posts and photos. – Kiran  

Today, Zebbie and I have packed our bags to camp hardcore in the woods, Thoreau-style. Consequently, our small suitcase contains a hatchet, a hammer, a selection of lathes, a box of matches, 15 nails, 20 yards of twine, 2 caskets of lime and a burlap sack filled with potatoes. As we head through the woods, we plan to meditate on life, quote Emerson and maybe glimpse the ghosts of Melville and Hawthorne ferociously adapting their novels to YouTube clips. Or better yet, find the plaque where they think Thoreau might have chilled it back in the day. – Kiran  

Tomorrow I begin my 2 week guest stint as an interviewer on E!. Will my interviewing style transfer to television? I don’t know, but I got some of my best interviews as a magazine profile writer by being a furtive investigative presence. And by wearing low-cut sweaters. – Kiran

As some of you know, we’ve had some trouble with repetitive car alarms horn-honking on our street in the past few days. At 2 am in the morning to be exact. Consequently, I took matters into my own hands and traveled 28 years into the past and introduced the inventor of car alarms to my alter ego, the Incredible Hulk. Afterwards, I went even further back in time and met Jesus so he could give me a high-five. Then we went out to hunt dinosaurs with the lasers I borrowed from the future. – Kiran

Have you heard Peter Bjorn and John’s “Young Folks”? Its a catchy tune built around a whistling hook so addictive that it has helped regenerate an art form long relegated to the realm of dog-walkers and bird-watchers. And guess what? Dad and I LOVE IT! And you know what else? It’s responsible for a golden renaissance in whistling. – Kiran