HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Everyone acts like they’re too cool or too old to enjoy Halloween — and that’s total nonsense. Halloween is the most awesome holiday of the year. You get to dress-up, run around the streets and you get candy. Yay Halloween! – Kiran
So we all know that this Halloween there will be a million people dressed as Sarah Palin – snooze. But some of us plan to be a little more inspired. Elmo is dressing up as Amy Winehouse, Russell is dressing up as a “sad investment banker” and Verdell is going to drink 20 Redbulls and go as Mad Money host Jim Cramer. What will I be dressed as, you ask? Come by tomorrow to find out. – Kiran
Earlier today, Shaan and I went and observed the last-minute lunch break costume shoppers outside the big Halloween store near Albertson’s. Everyone was either a “pirate” or a “sexy [insert any profession here]”. These uncreative people are terrible and should be shunned. Where did the creativity go? – Kiran
HAPPY DIWALI EVERYONE!
Four years into their mission to explore the surface of Mars, NASA’s twin Mars rovers deserve a complete tune-up, lube job and a date with the machinery of their choice when they return from space. It’s the least we can do after they discovered Martians and all. – Shaan
As demonstrated by our oufits at the Happy Diwali Party last night, this season’s hottest trends include sparkle-draped hats and vests and lots of pizzazz. – Kiran
Just when we finally crawled through last week’s computer meltdown, it’s come to my attention that there are still “technical difficulties”. Apparently, throwing Monopoly money at our server doesn’t ensure proper service across the board. Who knew? Please check back with us tomorrow for more photos and posts. – Kiran
Like most supermodels, when I go to restaurants, I order one large mineral water with a teeny tiny wedge of lemon and opt against an actual meal. Sure, baked feta tastes good for a moment, but slim lasts — and it’s more flattering. – Kiran
This is completely unconfirmed and based on rumor, but I just heard that Rice Krispie spokesman and breakfast role model Snap, innocently driving his silver Lamborghini just like any of us would, was arrested earlier this morning for drunk driving. I saw him at Slippie’s house at around 11 PM last night, but I didn’t notice any more slurring than you’d expect of someone in a stocking cap. Though he was waving around car keys and singing Leader of the Pack at the top of his lungs. So maybe… – Kiran
It’s 10:40 am and I still haven’t posted one single blurb. Know why? I have no news – none at all. If this continues I’m going to have to start making stuff up.* – Kiran
* UPDATE: AAAAAAAAAHHH! John McCain is elected ruler of Alternate Reality Earth!
** BREAKING UPDATE: In the alternate universe, McCain appoints Chuck Norris his Secretary of Defense and Bizarro his White House Chief of Staff.