Kiran and Shaan's World

Forget Bitcoins – memes are probably our most stable form of Internet currency. By my calculations, two lolcat ninja photos are worth at least one viral video of a dog playing a Rush solo – if I’m adjusting for inflation correctly. – Shaan

If you are ever offered macademia nuts in the shell, say NO, NO, NO thanks. It is nearly impossible for a human to crack the shell without heavy machinery. My friend feeds them to his macaw who literally has the pressure of 1400 lbs in his beak. I took one home and couldn’t even smash it with a hammer. What kind of nut can’t be shelled with an ordinary nutcracker! Plus – all that work for a tasteless chunk of fat. (Insert Jessica Simpson joke here.) – Kiran

As some of you know, Dad has been on a heath kick and juicing everything in sight. Personally, I’d like to see some non-citrus fruit smoothies. Sure, oranges and lemons are rich in vitamin C, but they’re also pretty boring. What he needs to do is Jamba it up a bit – maybe add some guavas and passion fruit and papayas and a brain booster supplement. Or maybe he just needs to start wearing a big fanny pack shaped like a pineapple. – Shaan

Lion-O and I are going to have an adventure. First someone’s got to get Mr. Potatohead out of Charlie Sheen’s house. I’m pretty sure I still know how to catch a bullet with my teeth but I doubt it will come to that. My plan is to throw some spare change at Charlie – while he’s busy picking up  quarters, we’ll grab Mr. Potatohead and jump off the roof onto a waiting dinosaur. Then we’ll make our way to Mexico. There I’ll hand him off to Mrs. Potatohead or a cactus – whichever we meet first. – Kiran

SMILE OF THE DAY

SMILE OF THE DAY

VIDEO OF THE DAY

Did you know Spiderman once funded an expedition to Krypton after seeing Superman Returns? This led to his casting in a Japanese Depends commercial to recover said financial loss. – Shaan

You know what I like to do on a hot summer night? Open the refrigerator. You know what else I like? A/C. A/C is amazing and beautiful. Why do I feel the need to to constantly lower my ambient body temperature? Because A/C makes you cool and strong like Fonzie. – Kiran

Everywhere you go everyone is talking about Kate Middleton and the Royal Baby Watch. Call me a curmudgeon, but I really, really, really do not need to see any more photos of Kate Middleton. I do not want to see her adjusting inflation, either. I do not want to see her eat beef jerky or have her hair done. Even seeing her at the local DMV applying for a license renewal is pushing it. – Shaan