Kiran and Shaan's World

SMILES OF THE DAY

I really have to wonder how much longer the goofy neon glasses-thing can last. Isn’t it about time we go ahead and move on to the next big thing, like fake Groucho Marx glasses or whatever? – Kiran

In celebration of virility-proving Super-Manly Day, I will be riding horses shirtless, co-piloting a fighter jet, shooting a tiger, navigating a mini-submarine to the bottom of the ocean and attaching a tracking device to a whale while performing wheelies on my motorcycle. – Shaan

By now, I’m guessing most of you have heard about the dust-up between Elmo and Kenneth Branagh at the BMW Celebrity Golf Tournament at the Pacific Palms Resort yesterday. Some might wonder how Elmo, who weighs in at about 3 lbs 6 oz, could beat Kenneth Branagh, a full-grown man. But there are two things to consider here: 1) Kenneth Branagh is British, and could probably be taken down with a crumpet to the forehead. 2) The amount of Redbull that Elmo has consumed in his life could probably stretch around the Earth six times. After a while that stuff will give you superpowers. (You can’t argue with science.) Elmo probably could have made his head explode like an overripe tomato just by blinking his eyes twice. – Kiran

SMILE OF THE DAY

SMILE OF THE DAY

Things are always falling in between my pectoral muscles all the time. Matchbox cars, legos, even a headband once. So I decided to USE my muscles. I put my lip balm, occasionally cash, sometimes a cell phone — all in between my mighty “chesticles”. You’d be amazed at what I can fit: directions scrawled on a piece of paper, a pen, my bus card. Not all at the same time, mind you. I try to keep the chest storage to no more than three items. – Shaan

Everyone has trouble losing weight – everyone except me that is. How do I do it? I wear my handy dandy weight loss medallion (which also doubles as a cell phone) and I only consume diet juice boxes. – Shaan

So,  Kiran and I have been talking – and seriously, our next door neighbor Jessi has got to be the hottest 44-year-old woman on the planet. In fact, if you slapped bikinis on all the hot 44-year-olds out there and put them in a room, Jessi would own them all. Then again, just to be sure, we should probably make them pillow fight first. Not for us, of course, but for science. – Shaan

SMILE OF THE DAY