July 27
By now, I’m guessing most of you have heard about the dust-up between Elmo and Kenneth Branagh at the BMW Celebrity Golf Tournament at the Pacific Palms Resort yesterday. Some might wonder how Elmo, who weighs in at about 3 lbs 6 oz, could beat Kenneth Branagh, a full-grown man. But there are two things to consider here: 1) Kenneth Branagh is British, and could probably be taken down with a crumpet to the forehead. 2) The amount of Redbull that Elmo has consumed in his life could probably stretch around the Earth six times. After a while that stuff will give you superpowers. (You can’t argue with science.) Elmo probably could have made his head explode like an overripe tomato just by blinking his eyes twice. – Kiran