September 20
WHAT DO YOU DO TO ACHIEVE INNER PEACE?
I unwind by fixing things and single-mindedly learning how to do manual tasks. My car is a favorite subject. I’ve replaced its timing belt, power-steering pump and radiator. For a while, I got into upholstery. Last winter I knit 5 scarves then stopped. Lately it’s been carpentry, I built a closet and then a woodshed. Cooking is another thing; used to be stews, now I’ve started to bake bread. – Kiran
For me—inner peace means anti-anxiety medication. I’ve tried therapy and I know I should exercise more, but who has the time? – Elmo
Running 5 miles, lifting weights, then taking a short break and drinking 2 caramel macchiatos. – Shaan
It’s day 3 of Mother Nature’s attempt to destroy the human race; on Tuesday, the temperature hit 90 degrees and yesterday it hit 92 degrees. The heat index — what it actually feels like — was around 102 degrees yesterday, and that’s in the leafy shady areas. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure most people would agree that anyone who’s had the misfortune of spending more than even 2 minutes outside knows that the heat index on concrete was more like 500 degrees. – Shaan
Wait a minute. What? Violet Affleck is just sitting around by herself pining for a man. OnStar, take me to Violet Affleck! OnStar? Hello? Where is… Dude, OnStar, get out of the fridge! Are you drinking my juice boxes? C’mon! Take me to Violet Affleck. It’s important. Yes, important enough for me to wear my slim cut jeans. Look, can we just, I dunno, go back to how things used to be? You know, where you were a little box above my rear-view mirror and obeyed my every command. – Kiran
I’ve finally completed my band lineup. I’ve got the emo keyboard player, the hot chick drummer and now I’ve nabbed the perfect bassist: the guy on the Pringles can. – Kiran
In the beginning God created heaven and earth. And the earth was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be luxurious absorbent underpants: and there appeared cashmere lined diapers. And God saw the diapers and said, Let the diapers befit a wearer: and there I was.* – Shaan
The universe is in balance today: The weather is expected to be gorgeous, with the sun brightly shining, warming our flesh and our hearts one last time before the leaves turn. I bet there’s even some leftover Banana Creme pie in the employee lounge. – Kiran
With the collapsing housing market and economic downturn everyone has been forced to reevaluate their expenditures. Myself included. Now that I’m no longer hemorrhaging money from the pockets of my Versace leather pants I’ve decided to forgo my uber-mega-luxury spa treatments and hyperbaric chamber sessions. Oh right…and my bathtub full of Creme de la Mer.- Kiran