You know how it is Valentine Bear – I almost didn’t mention it. I kind of didn’t want to, but I felt I had to. So earlier this week I wearily conceded that yes, I was “spotted” last Friday night romancing ladies and stealing butterfly kisses in public places. Because romance is my forte. However for the ladies who want to be slobbered on like, say, a hamburger, they’ll have to see Elmo. – Kiran
Kiran has finally released his long awaited judo-fighting DVD. Naturally! And when he’s not busy posing shirtless, dating gymnasts or flexing his iron fists, the judo champ can be found practicing his Nage no Kata and Katame no Kata. – Shaan
Much of my day is spent trolling the floor and over the past few weeks I have unearthed an impressive collection of anthropological doodads such as Kiran’s old “I dated the Bush Twins” onesie, opposable lego thumbs and Elmo’s fruitini drink tickets. – Shaan
The essential problem with oral hygiene in America? Americans are too lazy to move their forearms in short back-and-forth motions while brushing. Let me remind everyone that brushing your teeth helps you burn 3 valuable calories a day. And brushing using non-traditional dental utensils helps build upper-arm strength. – Kiran
Elmo broke his arm the other day and poured Ny-Quil on it. But that didn’t seem right. So I poured Pepto-Bismol – because as we all know Pepto cures everything from traveler’s diarrehea to belching. *strokes beard* I should be a doctor. Wait, I don’t have a beard! I’m getting sued aren’t I? – Shaan
SMILE OF THE DAY
THE MATHS
Today I’m explaining my dating strategy via mathematical equations…and as you can plainly see, this relationship beginning equals this. And that equals this. And me equals this. And her times me equals me divided by… something… – Kiran
Young people can be so unprepared sometimes. Take yesterday for instance, Vivienne Jolie-Pitt was completely unable to stand for our photo shoot – she was actually propped upright by a series of reduced-scale flying buttresses and an unnamed three year-old. True story. – Kiran
I guess you can say I’m something of a body builder. *flexes arms* Mamacita! Oh yeah, I definitely herniated myself. This can’t be good. I think I really did it this time. Okay, is anyone a doctor? What happens when my second bicep wraps itself around the other two while the fourth one continues to be made of titanium? – Kiran
A couple of people have asked me about my writing experience. You’ll be pleased to know I’ve never picked up a pen before. And although I have been seen sitting at the computer, I’m still too young to type out complete sentences and reach the shift key unassisted. – Shaan