My answer to solving the growing financial crisis? Candy canes. And lots of them. Wait, I already proposed that solution for the economy. And global warming. And health care. And that time I locked my keys in the car at Starbucks…. – Kiran
When I initially wrote my letter to Santa, I asked for the yet to be released Sesame Street CD “Songs To Wear Pants To”. However after a few days of quiet reflection it occurred to me that I had spoken too soon. So today’s post goes out to Santa. If you are reading this, please forgive me for the short notice, but I’m writing to request a last minute alteration to my Christmas list. Please replace the Sesame Street CD with a diamond-crusted solid gold bar that also functions as a Wii. My apologies again for such short notice. From the goodest boy in the whole wide world. – Kiran
As some of you already know Elmo’s wrist reduction surgery went swimmingly well yesterday afternoon. What shape do Elmo’s wrists resemble post-surgery? My money’s on rhombus. Or octagon. It’s a toss-up. – Kiran
This year we’re having a quiet Christmas at home. A couple of years ago I was swept away with yuletide propaganda and marched in a Christmas parade dressed as a sexy elf. It was like, sub-freezing and I nearly died of hypothermia — but I did get a photo with Rudolph and Blitzen’s autograph. – Kiran
SMILE OF THE DAY
What would you do if an old man broke into your house in the middle of the night? Call the police? No, silly! I’m not talking about creepy Mr. Pryzborowski down the street. I’m talking about Santa Claus! And although it’s common knowledge to leave him a little something-something as a token of appreciation, I have no idea what to make. Deli tray? Or is this more of a light dessert affair? – Shaan
Who’s ready for Christmas? The answer? You. Don’t be one of those Grinches who grumbles about how the ads for Christmas items seem to start earlier every year. You’re right, they do. But that just means more time for you to shop around for the best price on a “Thomas Kinkade ‘Holiday Reflections’ crystal Christmas tree” and “Ultimate Disney Holiday Village.” – Kiran
ARRRRRGH! ECONOMISTS ANNOUNCE OIL WILL HIT $120 A BARREL IN 2009! EVERYONE PANIC! Actually it’s just a prediction and adjusting for inflation it’s not actually the highest it’s ever been, but we’re well on our way! Everyone invest in Flintstone cars! – Kiran
SMILES OF THE DAY
Christmas is almost upon us! What to buy? And for whom? And what about the person who has everything? Forget gadgets, gizmos, whoseits, whatzits, and thingamabobs. If my research serves me correctly, the person who has everything only wants one thing: stilts. – Shaan