Kiran and Shaan's World

SMILE OF THE DAY

Mom and Dad are coming back from their three day weekend in Las Vegas tonight and that means we need to get into my DIY time machine and un-kidnap Marie Antoinette, Richard Simmons, Sha Na Na and rescue the raccoon that got sucked down into the new black hole that’s in the kitchen. – Kiran

When you’re the conductor of the Pacific Northwest’s leading experimental robot orchestra you can’t get bogged down with a bunch of workaday nonsense like parting your hair. Combings either gotta be a single-swoop operation or else it simply isn’t worth the time. – Shaan

VIDEO OF THE DAY

If you see me wearing sandals, then I’m probably also wearing one of those leather-thong necklaces with a bead on it. Clearly, I am ahead of my metrosexual time. The necklace highlights my Adam’s apple and proves to the ladies that I am into jewelry and other cultures. – Kiran

Have you noticed? Girls have finally reawakened to the full power of sock culture. It started with leg warmers as a joke, then progressed to gym socks with the stripes, then dark socks with shorts, then dark socks with shorts with heels and now we’re being treated to girls wearing exotic horse socks in busted loafers. What a time to be alive. – Kiran

SMILES OF THE DAY

Guessing by the look on Dad’s face right now, he would rather be: 1. Jessica Simpson – wearing cargo pants with pumps (Read: fashion victim); 2. In a fist fight with Liza Minnelli; or 3. Growing a ponytail and driving around in a PT Cruiser with his shirt unbuttoned. – Kiran

When I’m dozing off at school or spacing out on the playground, my mind often wanders to what I like to think of as Shaan’s Happy Funland. In Shaan’s Happy Funland, everything is awesome. First off, I’m totally rich. I have a HUGE apartment. And a house at the beach. And a boat. A jacuzzi. A couple of dogs and servants to walk them. Oh, and I’m modifying all my Hot Wheels with artificially intelligent electronic computer modules and a snooty-sounding guy under the hood a la KITT. – Shaan 

I’m late picking up my girlfriend Heather from her pilates class. I frantically run to the driveway, where Sting is waiting in all of his longer-haired Police Synchronicity glory, INSISTING that he will drive me. I’m like, that’s so… nice, but you don’t have to, and he keeps INSISTING, and now I’m late, so I throw my gear into the back seat of his Ferrari-slash-Lamborghini-mobile, and we’re off. Sting is driving with utter speed and skill and exuding confidence and, no, it’s not strange that he’s playing his own album on the car stereo. We park right next to the gym where Heather is tapping her foot and responds exactly as I imagined she would: “You come to pick me up with STING? How do you think that’s going to make me FEEL? I mean, I’m all sweaty, my clothes are all WRINKLED and here you are with STING!” – Kiran