Author Archives: Jenice

Today’s post goes out to Band of Horses. I admit it, I downloaded your new record Cease to Begin. I promise to pay full price for it when it’s released in stores, even if it does sound a little thin compared to … Continue reading →

What happened to Elmo? Did he get leg lipo? Does that even exist? Because I remember Elmo having beefy legs, and now, well, he doesn’t. Was it leg implants? Was it all makeup? How far away is the sun? Is Mike really … Continue reading →

NO MILK! NO JUSTICE! NO PEACE!  NO MILK! NO JUSTICE! NO PEACE! – Kiran      

In the covert intelligence community, this is euphemistically called an “extraction”. – Kiran  

Who am I today? Urban Tarzan. – Kiran    

A little birdie who would know, tells me, that a little birdie told him, that the best hummus can be found at Drama’s Deli. Just walk up to the counter and ask Big Guy for ‘something special’. But remember, if you start asking Big Guy a … Continue reading →

Mmmmm….no, really, I can’t. I have an op-ed piece due tomorrow morning for The New Yorker, followed by a photo shoot with Heinz – “the Lexus of Ketchups” and I’m hosting an American Idol-themed luncheon the following day. Oh, and I’m growing … Continue reading →

I know! And can you believe the doorman wouldn’t let me in the door– even AFTER I took off my sparkly red feather wig! – Kiran  

MR. FERRARI  The modern man drives a Ferrari careening across a crowded intersection at 130 MPH, chest hair extruding from his vintage tee and smelling of Aqua Di Gio. On the other side of the intersection is a harem of Brazillian models and a … Continue reading →

The Associated Press reports that the sky is blue, grass is green and something about my abs. I believe “sculpted steel” were their exact words. – Kiran