Category Archives: Uncategorized

LABOR DAY  The heat and humidity was a bit wistful today as the summer officially comes to a close. But Labor Day also gave us one government-sanctioned holiday to: make a last-ditch effort to look good in white pants, use Drambuie as sunscreen and work on your tan. (My … Continue reading →

What’s blowing up in the fashion world right now? Fruit Boots – the ultimate zipperless, foot-beautifying, must-have accessory for the season. Coated in a new Teflon-latex compound pioneered by NASA, the soles are edible and come in seven different flavors. (They’re even low-carb!) I … Continue reading →

FOR SALE BY OWNER  2007 Aqua-Mobile with two donut tires (one front one back; on opposing sides), no radio, some heat, one headlight. Price negotiable. If interested, please leave a message in Box 5489.

Why am I driving a “Winnie the Pooh” car instead of my speeder-bike from Return of the Jedi? I can’t go into the details due to the pending litigation, but it basically involves me, an Ewok and a grape juice Mai-Tai … Continue reading →

It takes seven kinds of fruit to make Hawaiian Punch? Seven kinds of fruit in a Hawaiian Punch? Seven kinds of fruit? Seven? Really? – Kiran    

“OMG! The house reaks of sulfur and rotten eggs. It’s disgusting. Did Elmo have burritos for lunch AGAIN?” – Kiran “No, it’s really more of a ‘Russell ate curry for breakfast thing.’” – Zebbie

How was the party last night? Well, the dress code was ‘Klingon’ but I just went in a classic Mad Max-leather thing I had sitting around. The music was totally distorted because the DJ didn’t notice that he had every bar on the … Continue reading →

What’s behind my blanket? All kinds of booty: A slab of fudge, the expressed written consent of the NBA, a pair of left-handed scissors, Mannequin on laserdisc, my lucky Mexican jumping beans and, possibly, reclaimed free-range chicken fingers. – Kiran

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Chacha-ji, Happy Birthday to you! – Kiran  

Yikes! Abraham Lincoln is having a fist fight with a dinosaur in the living room and Russell is talking to Charlemagne. What do I make of all this? Either the time machine I built in the garage has finally started working or I’m … Continue reading →