ON THE VIEW WITH BARBARA WALTERS VIA SATELLITE
“Let’s get to the questions our viewers really want to ask: Some say you lack ‘acting chops’ and rely heavily on your good looks…” – Barbara Walters
“Barbara, I’m not going to deny that my looks have helped my career, but that’s not what I’m all about. I believe in living my life responsibly. Spontaneously responsibly.” – Kiran
DECISIONS, DECISIONS
Next week should I: Go to the secret Himalayan Temple of Badrinarayan to train in the art of voguing or tour the country as the official spokesperson for Mystic Tan? – Kiran
Mmmmm, yes, I like Miao-Miao’s innovative use of humid ambience and 70’s foggy soft-focus photography. What do you think Zebbie?…Don’t shrug Zebbie. Why are you shrugging? – Kiran
My latest super-secret business venture: Press-on chest hair. – Kiran
TODAY’S TO DO LIST:
1. Create weather patterns;
2. Find 300 uses for carb-friendly baguettes; and
3. Express all measurements in both imperial and metric equivalents.
What?! The Nutella disappeared? And the cream cheese too?!!! That doesn’t seem right. No, something is definitely afoot with the condiments. I better put on my detective hat and do some investigating. I think I’ll start with the refrigerator. That always needs investigating. – Kiran
Captain’s Log: July 5th, 2007 – I have taken the Sea Serpent for a trip around Catalina Island. It is by far the longest voyage she has yet undertaken and its completion puts us one step closer to our great journey sailing around the world. Of course, there are about seventy-three other steps, but it’s movement. – Kiran
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!
The 4th of July is upon us and nothing says freedom and independence like Mom’s Red, White and Blue Hot Dogs. Get ‘um while they’re hot. – Kiran
After making a series of huge mistakes (failing to wash the conditioner out of my hair, picking the one shopping cart that was leaking black junk, and failing to notice said junk until it was on my brand new white shirt, and losing my quesadilla rolls while performing a bicep squeeze) can I get a break today? – Kiran
When my Po-Po comes to visit me, cartoon hearts appear above my head. – Kiran