Tomorrow we are rolling out our new Kiran brand bottled water ‘K20’ in stores near you. And next week we’re unveiling our new Kiran brand energy drink ‘K-Pop’. This kind of thing could go on forever: Kiran the book, Kiran the gallery show, Kiran the video game, Kiran the sudoku book… – Kiran
Have you ever worked out next to the middle-aged woman at The Sports Club who sings to herself loudly and does Fosse-like jazz hands on the Stairmaster every day? Or the man on the treadmill who every 3 minutes of so, says “YESSSSSSS!”, claps and shakes his head? Gym addicts. Scary. – Kiran
Daily, I check to see how many people have read the blog. Whether it’s growing, ebbing or flowing. But the other day the number suddenly spiked, like, a bazillion percent. Like many thousands of people above the usual number. I IMed the tech team who run the site and asked if maybe the counter was broken. They informed me that no, it was working fine. THIS IS AWESOME! A big thank you to all our faithful fans and new viewers that have made this site hiptastic! – Kiran
It had to happen. People are finally sick of the Atkins diet. Consequently amateur dieticians are rolling with their own DIY meal plans. A sample:
Breakfast: Five and one half Krispy Kreme donuts (two chocolate iced with sprinkles, one plain cruller, one lemon filled, one raspberry filled, half chocolate devil’s food). Lunch: Miso soup with vegetable dumplings, three mega-vitamins, one large bottle of water. Dinner: Tibetan phingsha (bean thread noodles sauteed with beef and peas), shogo momo (fried dumplings with scallion and potatos), one can Fresca.
I think I tried this diet last week. – Kiran
LIVING WITH OPTIMUS PRIME
Is someone grumpy this morning? You want some coffee? No, you’re going straight for the booze. You know, I really don’t think beer is part of a balanced breakfast. [Pew, pew, pew] Oh, again with the laser beams. Very cute. [KA-BOOM!] Jesus! You blew up the toaster! Great. What if I wanted some Eggo waffles? Fine. Just drink your beers and watch cartoons. So, uh, listen, about you crashing here for the week……Hey, can you power down those turbine engines when I’m talking to you? – Kiran
If my lack of pants didn’t already give it away, I have no idea what’s going on with the website. Our access to the internet has been sporadic at best and may be due in part to: 1.) a DoS attack; 2.) Elmo opening a 124 GB email attachment entitled ‘Sweaty Yeti’; or 3.) the server bursting into flames. Sorry for the lack of posts. Our tech team assures me that everything should be fabtacular shortly. – Kiran
BATTLE OF THE DAY
Who will win in the battle of cuddliness today at the playground, Elmo or Russell? Before you answer remember: Russell was trained by the Shin Bet. – Kiran
When I woke up this morning and marked another X on the calendar, I realized that Penultimate Tuesday is here! As you may recall, Penultimate Tuesday is the way we here at Kiran’s World refer to the worst day of the week – when news is extra-slow and we have to resort to incredibly thin posts to meet our blog quota. Previous Tuesday posts include: Our tribute to the manliest meat: advanced salami, the day we put Elmo in punctuation rehab and our IM interview with thumb war champion Phil Toledano. – Kiran
Top Five Things Occurring To Me At 10:19 am On November 12th, 2007
1. Yogurt breath;
2. People saying “disorientated”;
3. Dropping toast on my bare foot, butter-side down;
4. Unfettered flatulence; and
5. Discovering that my previously closed-toe shoes are now sandals.
How was last night’s party? Prairie-sparse. So we grabbed our goodie bags, which only contained a magazine, a perfume sample, and a box of Altoids, and left for the coat check stand. And who did we see there? Big Bird, with like five goodie bags. He must’ve really liked those perfume samples. – Kiran