Kiran and Shaan's World

Listen: I’m bailing out of Kiran’s World a little early today. I’ve got to get an outfit together for tonight’s cocktail mixer that will shock, horrify, and/or get me a date. – Kiran

Reportedly, the price of bananas is up almost 20 percent over the last year, while eggs are up 35 percent nationwide. Costco and Sam’s Club recently began rationing bananas to prevent hoarding. OK, who here has been hoarding bananas? – Kiran

SMILE OF THE DAY

Glow Worm: Sooooo, how was your date last night with Emily?

Shaan: She was nice enough I guess – kind of pretentious though. She’s into avant garde music — I repeat, “avant garde.” I mean, she could’ve just said “weird.”

Drop your glasses, fashion cognoscenti: monocles are back—in style! To explain this fashion trend we need only turn to Mr. Peanut, the monocled ambassador of salt and nutty goodness whose de rigeur accessory will be this year’s fashion must-have. And remember: You heard it here first! – Kiran

In blogs, everyone’s hot. You click on a page and read about someone’s washing machine cycles or the new pair of culottes they just bought and you think to yourself: “Huh…they must be hot.” The problem I’ve found with blogs, however, is that most bloggers are nowhere near as attractive as their words would have you believe. Trust me, I’ve met quite a few. That is, except for me – because I’m awesome. Lumberjack awesome. – Kiran

As some of you know it’s time for our Annual Battle of the Bands Competition. I was trying to figure out how to open the festivities. At first I thought, how about doing my love life through the lyrics of 80s hair metal bands. You know like REO Speedwagon’s ‘Keep On Loving You’. Or Poison’s ‘Every Rose Has It’s Thorn’. I mean come on, soooo true. Seriously. Poison knew what they were talking about. – Kiran

I’m suing McDonalds for forgetting my McNugget sauce last night. Have you ever eaten one of those things dry? That’s a taste that will never leave you. Or in other words: Cut me a check, Grimace! – Shaan

Everyone was all “ooohs” and “ahhhs” because Kamar De Los Reyes from One Life to Live showed up at Big Bird’s Charity Picnic yesterday. But this was meaningless to me. The only soap I watch is Passions. Go ahead. Groan. My family and friends are ashamed too. I, however, am not. I love you Passions! – Shaan

Fozzie Bear does so much good with his fame. He’s almost like Bono, except his accent is more rustic than Irish. But sometimes, Fozzie’s fame is put towards evil uses, like spam. Fozzie’s name makes a lot of people click on emails. Reportedly some 11.3% of all worldwide daily email traffic contains Fozzie’s name in the subject line. Think “Fozzie naked,” “Fozzie nude movie,” or “Fozzie naked video”. – Kiran