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It’s a mixed bag on TV tonight. And despite what I learned from last night’s dearth of quality scheduling, the world of television programming still holds many delightful mysteries, from androgynous cheese to Blackberry hygiene. – Shaan

                                                            SHOPPING AT THE SPECTRUM

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Next week, yours truly, will be competing in the Australian arm wrestling circuit. If you’re looking for the roughest, toughest, meanest sport in all of the world, arm wrestling is where it’s at. And best of all arm wrestlers wrestle for real life things like Camrys and Snickers bars. – Kiran

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Did you hear? Last week Big Bird trotted out hypnotist Paul “The Great” Satipo on his vlog to help him quit smoking. This week Big Bird revealed that he hasn’t smoked in three days. In related news, he also can’t close his eyes. Or eat. – Kiran

P1020295Today, Shaan is promoting his self-Heimlich technique, fireworks line, smoothie chain or working his Donald Trump wig. – Kiran

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Everyone’s mad! Because it’s Wednesday, probably. Which also must mean that everyone wants lasagna. And hates Chram. Nobody likes Chram. (Actually, everyone would like Chram more if he’d stop taking a bite out of everyone’s food and then proceed to rub it on his belly.) – Shaan

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To approximate my dental hygiene routine at home, brush your teeth with Tom’s of Maine toothpaste and follow by flossing with Crest’s new and improved dental licorice – with 10% more licorice! – Shaan

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Yup – my smoothie parlor is still at least a month away from opening. Smoothie license? It’s still pending. I don’t like talking about it. It gives me bad karma. – Shaan