Have you met Corey Caterpillar my work out buddy? We head out to the gym every morning and warm up by doing heavy deadlifts until the air is sucked out of our lungs by reverse vacuum. But then the McRib came back and let’s just say one of us is apparently allergic to jogging now. – Shaan
SMILE OF THE DAY
VIDEO OF THE DAY
Just because sometimes girlfriends are awesome, then bad, then interrupting my video games, then super cool, then something I cry about, doesn’t mean all girls are contagious crazy people contaging other people. Of course none of this makes a lick of sense because a.) women always set aside emotion to make clear, rational decisions that don’t add to an ongoing mental list of how each and every one of them is crazy, and b.) I have the attention span of a caffeinated two-year-old. What was I talking about? Hey, look, I tied my shoes! – Shaan
Some people munch Xanax and sit in a hot tub to combat stress. Other people drink Johnny Walker Black in the closet. While we’ve seen people [Read: Mom] experiment with both methods, I’ve finally found a soothing remedy that won’t leave me feeling “blah”: my morning latte. Non-fat! – Shaan
We apologize for any “dead-air” you may have experienced when trying to access the site over the past few days, as a minor technical update led to a teensy weensy malfunction. Thank you for your patience as we transition to our new background theme. Eventually. – Kiran
I need to get estimates from NASA on getting my LEGO rocket ship to space. I’m hoping they’ll accept a homemade coupon for “One Free Back Rub” as payment. I even used two different color Sharpies, so we’re basically talking about the greatest deal of their life. – Kiran
Today I was named King of the Crab People. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to consult with the Department of Agriculture about our dangerously low stores of Cheez-Its. “Mommy!” – Shaan
SMILE OF THE DAY
I don’t want to say this is the least interesting post I’ve ever written, but I’m currently experiencing severe heat exhaustion. So I’m dictating my thoughts by blinking in Morse code to a hamster with a typewriter. Dash. Dash. So make this funny hamster. Dash. Dash. Dot. Talk about bananas or I’ll sell you back to the pet store. Dot. Dot. No wait, don’t type that. Dot. Those PETA people will go all Ellen DeGeneres on me. Dash. Dash. Dash. Are you typing all this? Dot. Dot. Dang it. – Shaan