May 31
Four Things You Didn’t Know About Diapers
No. 1: Diapers have a mind of their own
“They are sentient beings who enjoy reading dead languages and long walks on the beach.”
No. 2: Diapers can minimize or accentuate your physical features
“I prefer Huggies for its comfort and absorption. [Whispers] And to maximize the weenage.”
No. 3: Diapers are naturally shaped like boomerangs
“[Looks down at diaper.] It really is shaped like a boomerang. Who knew?”
No. 4: “Actually No. 3 did surprise me and we are missing a 4th thing.”