SMILING FOR THE CAMERA…
…AND THEN TOO CLOSE TO THE CAMERA
Today I’m scheduled for my trapeze yoga with Elmo at 4pm, but in the hour before, I’ll be hanging out in my room petting my shoes and sharing tanning tips and trading ham recipes online. – Kiran
…OMG – that’s crazy. That’s like George Lucas claiming Star Wars is real and for $1,000 he’ll teach you how to use the Force to get the ladies. – – Do you think he takes PayPal? – Shaan
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA! Because it’s our patriotic duty, today we will be celebrating the birth of our nation the way our founding fathers did with bear claw tacos, grilled pound cake and KFC Double Downs. – Kiran
Tomorrow night I’ve got a date with some 4th of July fireworks. Fireworks are awesome! Like seeing the Aurora Borealis – or, no, wait, that’s bush league. I got it! Like seeing a really awesome chicken wing shaped like Abe Lincoln. You best step it up a notch Northern Lights, you just got served. – Shaan
I know girls like guys with muscles. As for the facial hair, I don’t even know. Do chicks dig Civil War beards? I’ve been told I look like a young Ulysses S. Grant – or was it Abe Lincoln? Whichever one had solid steel abs that could stop a steam engine. – Shaan