
I will wear this crown and scepter for my coronation as Emperor of Everywhere. – Shaan

I will wear this crown and scepter for my coronation as Emperor of Everywhere. – Shaan

So this is basically what I observed: Jellyfish No. 156 will bump into Jellyfish No. 9 and beat each other senseless, and then they’ll become best friends. Then Jellyfish No. 310 will bump into Jellyfish No. 156 and also beat each other senseless, and then they, too, become best friends. Apparently you can’t just walk up to a jellyfish and say “What’s up?” – Kiran

Being in such close proximity to ocean life, we learned that most aquatic creatures think that Poseidon is a cold and uncaring god of the sea. Also – tsunamis pretty much spell out that he does a lot of ‘roids. – Shaan
Long story short: whales do not mate with sharks to create whale sharks. That’s ridiculous. And they’ll be no match for my army of man-ducks. – Shaan
If it’s wrong to drink coffee from a cup hewn from the horn of a northern white rhinoceros and a blade composed of Wolverine’s bones then I don’t want to be right. – Kiran

Leah discreetly informed me that we are in Vancouver, British Columbia, and not the Democratic Republic of Thunderdome as I had initially assumed. – Shaan
I can also blow bubbles shaped like a squishy rhombus or a quesadilla. – Kiran

Mom hasn’t said a single word since we arrived. She says it’s because her voice only has one tone now and it’s “Middle-Aged Woman Coping With Two Sick Children As Part of Her Soul Breaks Off”. – Kiran
This battle is going to end with Kiran demanding vengeance and Shaan writing a whole bunch of crazy emails in all caps. – Mom
To answer your question: No – I did not eat any of the Blow Pops Mom hides on top of the refrigerator and I am offended by your suggestion. But since you’re asking, I am, in fact, practicing a secret fiber-related martial art. That’s my answer and I’m sticking to it. – Shaan
My unicorn friend, Nmdipo, prefers to wear sleeveless shirts (Read: Gotta let the pythons breath) and is currently looking for an app that will create some sort of formal time-share plan to manage all his combs. – Shaan