Kiran and Shaan's World

Today we learned that Elmo can eat 46 stale Twinkies in under an hour. (“Does anyone know if Blue Cross covers hyperglycemic shock?”) – Kiran

SMILES OF THE DAY

What is everyone up to today? Well, Russell is spending a protein pudding-fueled day in sweatpants (Granted, they are Armani sweats, but still.), Zebbie and Maio Maio are creating a new tahini sauce called Mondo Shwarma and I’m having my hair styled fluffy and asymetrical – which better conceals my counter clockwise hair whorl. – Kiran  

Today, Elmo’s babysitting Bernard for the day, while I go to the opening of 50 Cent’s new clu-, I mean, perform at a bachelorette part- uh, attend a writing conference. – Kiran

Oooooo! You know what? I wasn’t planning on working out tonight, but my Pelvic Floor Muscles are totally out of shape. Excuse me while I make some calls. – Kiran

PAGE SIX (SESAME STREET EDITION)  

When reached for comment, Kiran remarked: ‘We all went to Big Bird’s book party, because it was the kind of thing you had to go to. Mostly we just skulked in the corner telling anecdotes to one another about Big Bird that may or may not have had any basis in truth. How could we have known that Bert and Ernie had packed Grover’s Ford Pinto with fire ants and smashed it into the building?’

Can you hear that? The unpleasant sound of the last package of marshmallow Peeps going quickly stale. If so, that means your post-Easter hangover is as severe as mine. – Kiran  

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! 

I don’t know about you, but I spent the day smeared in Cadbury Creme Eggs and Rabbit Peeps residue! – Kiran     

In the run-up before Easter today is officially known as “Post-Crucifixion/ Pre-Resurrection” Day. It’s a fact. – Kiran

In the spirit of Good Friday, Zebbie and I will be taking to the streets in big floppy Easter bonnets and decorating everything and anything with pastel-colored polka-dots, balloons and other Easter-related doodles. – Kiran