Kiran and Shaan's World

The widower, Mr. Horowitz, from condo 12B down the street stole my silver Jaguar. Again. How do I know? Because each time my Jaguar goes missing, he’s tooling around the block in a silver Jaguar with the license plate: JED1MASTER. And each time he says the same thing, “No, it’s mine, I’ve always had this, I just didn’t show it to you.” Coincidence? I don’t think so. – Kiran

No, don’t do blue arms tomorrow Elmo. Blue arms stopped being cool when Grover performed with the Back Street Boys. – Kiran

SYNCHRONIZED SCREAMING DAY

AHHHHHHHH aaahhhhhhhhh AAAAAAhhhhh aaaaaaHHHHHHHHH! – Kiran

ART CLASS 101 

Today, I designed a mixed media sculpture based entirely out of seat belts, the disclaimers on McDonald’s Hot Apple Pies, child-proof caps and bubbles. I call it “What Would Debbie Harry Wear?”.  

My friend Shelby is also in my Modern Art History Class. She is so talented. I hear she’s up for a department prize for her “El Greco: Eschatology and Chiaroscuro” article that was published in Art Quarterly.

This is my art professor Krista. She can quote Thoreau, knows the difference between a daisy and a daffodil and the difference between a Monet and a Manet. – Kiran      

4/6 Acura Integra owners tend to pout because they really wish they were rockin’ a Legend. Of those, at least half know that 4/6 equals 2/3? What? There’s too much here that doesn’t add up. – Kiran

Guess what? Zebbie and I recalibrated the time machine and now we’re only one point 21 jiggawatts away from flux capacitating our way into the future! (Zebbie! Remember to pack plenty of Clinique moisturizer samples. That’s what they use as currency in the future.)  – Kiran  

Today I’m 31 flavors of “Shiny Happy People”. (It wasn’t just a song, Elmo. It’s a lifestyle.) – Kiran

SMILE OF THE DAY

Today’s post goes out to Band of Horses. I admit it, I downloaded your new record Cease to Begin. I promise to pay full price for it when it’s released in stores, even if it does sound a little thin compared to your last album, which was AMAZING. I’m sorry. I’m going to listen to it over and over until I learn to love it. (To Mom and Dad: You’re going to be hearing a lot of the new Band of Horses album in the near future. Be patient, it’s a good record! I think!) – Kiran

What happened to Elmo? Did he get leg lipo? Does that even exist? Because I remember Elmo having beefy legs, and now, well, he doesn’t. Was it leg implants? Was it all makeup? How far away is the sun? Is Mike really going to prom with Jenny? These questions and more, all answered tomorrow on a very special Kiran’s World. – Kiran