Category Archives: Uncategorized

For those of you who wonder if PBS pays me to write posts about Elmo, the answer is no. [crunch, crunch] Hmmmm…but that’s not a bad idea. PBS, feel free to call me at 1-888-LUV-ELMO. I accept cash or gold bars. No PayPal … Continue reading →

For 2008 accentuate all your accessories. Car keys too. And remember: Sometimes a little braid at the side of your face can be more intriguing then a whole head of braids. – Kiran    

How was yesterday’s Muppets Illustrated photo shoot with Miss Piggy? Okay, to be perfectly honest I signed a waiver at the shoot preventing me from saying anything negative about her feet, but, heck, I can talk freely about her “naked slippers” (wink-wink) and let’s … Continue reading →

Despite everyone’s fear of global warming and energy scarcity, I’ve peered into the future and I’m not too worried. Trees and icebergs will be around forever. How do I know this? Because it already is the future, and no one dresses like they’re in Logan’s Run. … Continue reading →

Is he around? No? Okay, well, last summer I spent one weekend lounging in a swimming pool full of fruit punch. Or at least I was until the pool guy came and started asking why I filled the community pool with punch. He didn’t seem to … Continue reading →

What am I working on? An article for Vanity Fair. It’s an in-depth examination of high-end contemporary menswear entitled “Style Watch 2008.” In it I will explore such important questions as: “How to Cope with Flaccid Monograms” and “Commanding Respect in the … Continue reading →

Zebbie, bring me the Sword of Omens! Thunder. Thunder! THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOO! [looks around] Oh man, can someone go upstairs and tell Mom I need four C batteries for this thing. Dude, hurry up. It’s important. – Kiran     

Last month, Dan Rather was awarded broadcast journalism’s most prestigious honor, a Peabody. Meanwhile, my peers crowned me the “King of Journalism” for my in-depth expose of Oscar the Grouch’s hedge fund scandal. (Okay, so maybe I just lined up a bunch of stuffed animals … Continue reading →

HAPPY NEW YEAR  2007 was less “partyingest” than 2006, but trust me, 2008 is going to be totally AWESOME! – Kiran  

We made it home just in time for Elmo’s New Year’s Eve Party. Goody bags were offered to all the guests and included $10,000 cyborg tigers and 24-carat gold hubcaps. I didn’t get any myself, but those would have gone awesome with the $1 million diamond-encrusted toilet … Continue reading →