Category Archives: Uncategorized

HY! Wh stl my vwls? – Krn    

Since the Low-Carb Movement, bread has been marginalized as “The Other Monosaccharide” and only allowed to fraternize with other wheat products. Soon after, coffee was labeled a “carb lover” and went home to find his house teepeed. — Why can’t we all just … Continue reading →

SPY VS SPY (EPISODE 2) [CONTINUED] ….the operative in question was a double-agent. And just to prove his sincerity, he gave a little fist-pump as we parted ways. And fist-pumps don’t lie. I stealthily pressed on, sans couch-disguise, and made my way to … Continue reading →

You know how you’re all “Oh what do I care if there are a gajillion bazillionaires, I’m fine just being happy and not letting wanton materialism ruin my life.” Then you come to find out: There’s a booming luxury submarine industry? And … Continue reading →

Jello is so many things: polished, gelatinous and most importantly, our country’s most cherished fruit-flavored cultural relativist. – Kiran  

MY TOP 10 WEB SEARCHES 1. Spiderman 2. Star Wars 3. Winter Olympics 4. Warcraft 3 5. NASCAR 6. Angelina Jolie 7. CNN 8. IKEA 9. American Idol 10. Nostradamus  

TODAY’S TO DO LIST 1. Master ‘beep boop beep’ computer language; 2. Determine the outcome of the next Presidential election; 3. Say Cuba in a sentence using the authentic “OO” sound; and 4. Discover a Higgs boson. 

WHAT’S IN YOUR OVERNIGHT BAG? 1. Carmex lip balm; 2. one pair of white tube socks; 3. a “soft bristle” toothbrush; 4. one pair of black soft cotton boxers; 5. Neutrogena dandruff shampoo; 6. Neutrogena face scrub; and of course 7. Tabasco sauce (Caribbean … Continue reading →

A TYPICAL DAY AT CHEZ K  Restaurant patrons make such outlandish requests sometimes. Maybe once a week I get a group of people ordering “puddin’ phlism-phlasm, bism-basm, poppin’, baaaaaah”, requesting organic free-range radicchio or Splenda. Then there are the people who get too … Continue reading →

If I had $2 million dollars, I’d donate it to charity. Or at least buy myself a Ferrari. That’s sort of like donating it right? To the Ferrari dealership? – Kiran