December 25
MERRY CHRISTMAS

Contrary to popular belief, very few sharks are dangerous to humans. And most can be described as highly social and extremely intelligent. Sharks can not only learn to drive, but parallel park without using a rear view mirror. You can’t argue with science. – Kiran

Today was a good day. And by good, I mean awesome – which is why I no longer see the need to wear clothes. Stop oppressing me, robe! – Shaan
December 22
HAWAII HERE WE COME

While we wait to board our plane, I’m going to write the world’s greatest fan fiction: R2-D2 meets Robo-Cop. – Shaan
And I beat Megatron’s High Score on “Fruit Ninja.” – Kiran
As some of you know, Optimus Prime was scheduled to join us however he had to be subdued on his flight to Hawaii after he refused to stop eating a salmon when trays were supposed to be returned to their upright positions. – Shaan
December 21

Last night I went on an abbreviated date with Emma. I say ‘abbreviated’ because she was thinking about the cell phone in her panda purse all night – although she said it was for emergencies only. She realized that our date was not as much fun as she thought it would be. She thought that maybe, if she was really, really bored, that could be construed as some sort of minor emergency. She also thought that twisty pasta reminded her of her hair. – Kiran
December 20

Optimus Prime thinks he wants a Miata. I told him he’ll only be able to drive it if he cuts out the floor like Fred Flintstone. – Kiran
December 19

Today is Day 16 of my ongoing feud with the god Aeolus, keeper of the winds, who keeps ruining my hair-do. – Shaan
December 18
SMILE OF THE DAY

December 17

A new study on climate change suggests that the earth’s temperature will rise 7 degrees by 2100. 7 degrees doesn’t seem like much, but the effects will be devastating. Most concerning are the evil wizards that are going to be freed from centuries of confinement within their frozen prisons when the icebergs start melting. “No big deal,” you think, “maybe they’ll be grateful we freed them and won’t decide to turn on us.” Jesus – you clearly have no idea how wizards operate. Best case scenario? They find a way to artificially extend our lives and enslave us in their ruby mines for generations. I’m not even going to tell you the worst-case scenario right now. You couldn’t handle it. – Shaan





















