Monthly Archives: September 2007

You know how you’re all “Oh what do I care if there are a gajillion bazillionaires, I’m fine just being happy and not letting wanton materialism ruin my life.” Then you come to find out: There’s a booming luxury submarine industry? And … Continue reading →

Jello is so many things: polished, gelatinous and most importantly, our country’s most cherished fruit-flavored cultural relativist. – Kiran  

MY TOP 10 WEB SEARCHES 1. Spiderman 2. Star Wars 3. Winter Olympics 4. Warcraft 3 5. NASCAR 6. Angelina Jolie 7. CNN 8. IKEA 9. American Idol 10. Nostradamus  

TODAY’S TO DO LIST 1. Master ‘beep boop beep’ computer language; 2. Determine the outcome of the next Presidential election; 3. Say Cuba in a sentence using the authentic “OO” sound; and 4. Discover a Higgs boson. 

WHAT’S IN YOUR OVERNIGHT BAG? 1. Carmex lip balm; 2. one pair of white tube socks; 3. a “soft bristle” toothbrush; 4. one pair of black soft cotton boxers; 5. Neutrogena dandruff shampoo; 6. Neutrogena face scrub; and of course 7. Tabasco sauce (Caribbean … Continue reading →

A TYPICAL DAY AT CHEZ K  Restaurant patrons make such outlandish requests sometimes. Maybe once a week I get a group of people ordering “puddin’ phlism-phlasm, bism-basm, poppin’, baaaaaah”, requesting organic free-range radicchio or Splenda. Then there are the people who get too … Continue reading →

If I had $2 million dollars, I’d donate it to charity. Or at least buy myself a Ferrari. That’s sort of like donating it right? To the Ferrari dealership? – Kiran    

LABOR DAY  The heat and humidity was a bit wistful today as the summer officially comes to a close. But Labor Day also gave us one government-sanctioned holiday to: make a last-ditch effort to look good in white pants, use Drambuie as sunscreen and work on your tan. (My … Continue reading →

What’s blowing up in the fashion world right now? Fruit Boots – the ultimate zipperless, foot-beautifying, must-have accessory for the season. Coated in a new Teflon-latex compound pioneered by NASA, the soles are edible and come in seven different flavors. (They’re even low-carb!) I … Continue reading →

FOR SALE BY OWNER  2007 Aqua-Mobile with two donut tires (one front one back; on opposing sides), no radio, some heat, one headlight. Price negotiable. If interested, please leave a message in Box 5489.