Monthly Archives: December 2007

Mom, what do you mean you forgot my McFlurry? McDonald’s is right there. You parked your car in the drive-thru, remember? I even wrote “MILKSHAKE NOW!” on the windshield. – Kiran  

How to get the ultra-buff masculine look? Carrot juice. Of course, it’s so simple. I wonder if carrot juice will also make my pecs sparkle like giant diamonds. Wait. I have no idea what a diamond is nor did I fund several unsuccessful mining expeditions … Continue reading →

I think I may have peed a little. Oh…that’s a lot. Anyone have a Wet-Vac I can borrow? – Kiran    

Check out my new car. With just a touch of a button, it can transform into a fighter jet, luxury submarine or high speed yacht. Let me demonstrate. [click] Yup, look at it go. [whirrrrrrrrr-whirrrrrrrrr] Wait a minute. What? Why did it change into … Continue reading →

What better way to kick off the week then fried fish, pachyderms and felines. They’re kind of like people, but also very different and hard to understand. Or maybe not meant to be understood at all. They’re also all on TV. … Continue reading →

Yeah, yeah…me too Elmo. I enjoyed those ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movies. Johnny Depp’s whole “Mick Jagger-as-pirate” shtick is pretty awesome, but that doesn’t mean we should all run out and start dressing ourselves up like Johnny Depp. He can … Continue reading →

Have I settled on a signature sign-off message, a la Walter Cronkite’s ‘And that’s the way it is.’? Not really. But maybe something casual like, ‘Peace out, homies.’ (My favorite entree is also called ‘Walter Cronkite’ and comes with roasted fingerling potatoes and … Continue reading →

The best thing about the holidays? The opportunity to put all dieting on hold. Zebbie’s been eating Cheetos so hard he has to change his shirt several times a day because of all the residual Cheeto dust. – Kiran

I think I have a crush on Britney. She has lusciously eyelashed pyrite eyes and her skin shimmers with an inner light. [Sigh] And we both share a love of All-You-Can-Eat Mongolian Grills and driving really fast over speed bumps. Last week she insisted on taking my number, telling … Continue reading →

Poor Big Bird: No one will rent him a private jet for his New Year’s Eve Party for fear that the Sesame Street mogul might trash the aircraft. Sadly, smashing bottles of Cristal over your head will do that to your reputation. – … Continue reading →