Monthly Archives: December 2007

FAN MAIL   Every week we receive fan mail from our readers asking us questions like “How can I appropriately camouflage myself as Puerto Rico on a budget?” or “How do you respond to the world’s increasing flatness?”. Today’s letter comes to … Continue reading →

AN INTERVIEW WITH KIRAN THAKUR   If you were President of the United States, how would you solve the following problems? The war in Iraq? Mmmm…easy. Partition the country into three separate autonomous regions; one region for people who keep … Continue reading →

What reduces wrinkles, adds radiance to my face and makes me look months younger? Cheese pizza moisturizer. – Kiran  

Today was like an episode of Saved by the Bell. You know the one, where Slater wears his wrestling singlet and serenades Kelly in front of everybody while Screech tries to make-out with Lisa under the bleachers, Zach broke the fourth wall and talked to the … Continue reading →

YOU COULD BE A WINNER!  Which person, insect or mineral radiates the most retro-80’s vibe? Submit your nominations for a chance to win an original vinyl copy of Debbie Gibson’s Electric Youth (natch) and, of course, bragging rights. A few ground rules: First, … Continue reading →

No Ramone, I’m not camera-ready. Why? Because we’re out of Biore strips and Kiehl’s astringent for today’s photo shoot. Again. You know I have a face oil problem. – Kiran   

Mmmmm…Today I learned that Australia is on the exact opposite side of the world as us. And that means that they do everything exactly the opposite of us too. I’m guessing everything goes counter-clockwise swirly way? – Kiran

Soooooo Zebbie, how’s your memoir coming along? What? You’re not writing a memoir? But anyone and everyone is writing a memoir! My memoir, Kiran Thakur: The Life and Times of a Modern Day Indiana Jones, comes out next April. And did I mention that the story … Continue reading →

You know, Seaworld probably shouldn’t be naming whales “Shamu” and “Corky”. This is actually very disrespectful to the whales. They should use real whale names, like: OOEEAAOOAARAAOGHGUOAAG!! or: OAAOOURRGG!! – Kiran

I think it’s worth noting that our Neil Diamond Tribute Karaoke Show on Thursday nights is always “Sweet Caroline” free — I don t recall ever attending a conventional karaoke event where that song isn’t ritually disemboweled. Everyone always has to sing along with … Continue reading →