Monthly Archives: February 2008

Russell, of course you should ask Jenna out on a date. I don’t think she’s as intimidating as you think. You see, her tattoos say ‘tough’, but her Victorian blouse says ‘tender’. (I’m 200% sure about this, by the way.) – Kiran    

Someone needs to give the makers of Photoshop the Congressional Medal of Honor today. Like right now. It would be unrealistic to be “camera ready” all the time, but that’s why Jesus stepped down from the heavens and gave us Photoshop. He bestowed … Continue reading →

Manuelo, from the Mayan Ruins Foundation can be so critical sometimes. Yesterday at Cancun Appreciation Day I overheard him call Elmo “useless” because he “doesn’t know how to spin yarn, make tortillas, or use a machete”. Oh, Manuelo… – Kiran   

Guess what? Today I received a call back from HBO’s The Wire for a recurring role as investigative journalist Brock Landers, on the very same day that I “forgot” to go to my audition for a Pampers “Brick Shaped Babies” diaper commercial — this isn’t just random … Continue reading →

The invitation for Big Bird’s party decreed that guests should “dress to kill”. Of course, Elmo threw on a hockey mask and rolled up with a machete strapped to his back. I called my look “Socrates’ Rebuke Of Alcibiades In The Symposium” – a seasonless newsboy cap that … Continue reading →

Esquire features, like many magazines, an advice column about dating. Theirs is written by a woman. The reason why is because: a) dating is confusing and b) men are, in general, confused about it. Or at least I am. – Kiran   … Continue reading →

Um, yea, I’ve been to the Smurf Foundation Charity Benefit and I have to say, it’s a great cause, but there will be way too many inebriated Smurfs there tonight. And Papa Smurf just lets them walk around everywhere. And then they’re plowing their carts through the 11 pm after-party like … Continue reading →

I like to think of myself as the Emeril of words. BAM! Hmm, that’s odd. Usually when I say that a giant neon exclamation point lights up. Great, it’s broken. And I’m having guests over tonight. Wonderful. Now how am I … Continue reading →