My big reveal: The first letter of each of my posts on any given day, when linked together, spells out ‘Amber – Seriously. We can still work things out. You know we’re good together. You just have to stop being afraid of your own happiness.’ – Kiran
Zebbie…Zebbie!…ZEBBIE! Jot this down. I want my personals ad to read as follows: SM seeks SF. Me – 100% masculine deliciousness spread on a spicy Hindu cracker. You – so hot you make steam look cool. Interested? If so, please leave a voicemail message at Box 381. – Kiran
Now that I’m single, I’m cruising the online dating scene. Again. And in my experience, I’m always weary of girls who don’t post pictures of their head in very visible ways. When all I can see on her profile are images of highly detailed parts of her body rather than any part of her face, hairline or chin, clearly there’s a problem. – Kiran
Why didn’t it work out with Amber? Apparently, I don’t like music enough, I’m not artsy enough, I’m too much like a banker, but not enough like a lawyer, and I’m not Jewish enough. Or at all for that matter. – Kiran
HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS
“Be at the right place at the right time, having the right conversation. As it is near impossible to discern which place and time will be right, just be everywhere, always, talking to everyone.” – Kiran
How do I impress the ladies? With my intelligence and suavity, of course. Oh, and my hirsuteness. – Shaan
I’d like to make a stunning announcement: I am officially throwing my hat into the ring for the office of student body president. If I am elected class president I promise to:
· Build a cafeteria wherein the dispensing of candy will be allowed
· Appoint Cookie Monster secretary, which means free cookies for everyone!
· Launch a full-scale re-investigation into who, exactly, was responsible for the post-diaper “intelligence” failures in the reading area
In the beginning, the 4th of July was about celebrating the birth of our nation and freedom. Nowadays, it’s just about big sofa sales and the grilling of meats. – Kiran
Check out the new limited edition ‘Shaan-tastic’ font – the result of a cross-promotion with Hasenfeffer Incorporated – makers of schlemiel and schlemazel. Now available for $12 and six proofs of purchase. – Shaan
Oh what have I done?! That cupcake from Starbucks was the worst idea. All those empty calories…That said, what do I eat for the rest of the day? Something a little less caloric. – Kiran
OMG! I know! SAND! To the playground! – Shaan