Monthly Archives: September 2008

VIDEO OF THE DAY [Editor’s Note: Remember to turn on your volume.]

Most people assume Big Pinky was naturally blessed with a great smile. Actually, he has three fake teeth, two of which were broken out in an ice skating accident and one in a car accident. He’s had a root canal … Continue reading →

A couple months ago, I had a little extra money in the bank, and I thought it would be a good idea to invest it. I met with a financial advisor and she told me that a really great market … Continue reading →

On a personal note, today I would like to address the inconsiderate weasel-voice who set up shop under my bedroom window at 3 am and proceeded to yammer into his cell phone as loudly as he possibly could about the … Continue reading →

This past Labor Day weekend was the shortest long weekend ever! We should make every weekend three days so we can spend as much time possible this summer walking on the beach or reading in a patch of sun. – … Continue reading →

There’s only one thing I hate more than being chained to my computer on the world’s longest Friday and that’s performing slow 70’s disco claps. – Kiran

I was at Mel’s diner last night and a girl in the booth behind me started choking. Her friends did nothing, despite her using the correct international sign for choking. As I slid out of my booth to go help, … Continue reading →

Yesterday at Shanghai Yang’s, listening to my iPod, I encountered my braided, garlanded dream girl. She was eating noodles out of a styrofoam container. Her shift dress had turquoise feathers on it and dreamcatchers. Screwing my courage to my sticking … Continue reading →

If I learned anything at last Sunday afternoon’s goat rodeo, it’s that wearing three-inch lifts in my cowboy boots induces its own version of vertigo — meaning you still feel like you’re wearing them forty-eight hours after you took them … Continue reading →

SMILE OF THE DAY