Kiran and Shaan's World

KIRAN VS. THE COOKIE

There’s no news today. What to do? We decided to do a little urban anthropology which included a quantitative analysis of the automotive vehicles in our neighborhood. Conclusions: In the short distance between our street and Blelizabeth Jangl’s house we counted twenty-three family-friendly Volvos glinting in the sun. Most of the them were classic four-door types, but there were also two-doors and wagons, old and new – and littered with everything from tennis racquets to Pottery Barn catalogs to an Atlas of Narnia. – Kiran

Top five reasons I can’t attend Elmo’s cousin’s niece’s bat mitzvah tonight:

1) “I can’t. I bit my cheek – I need to see a medic.”

2) “I can’t. It’s sunny.”

3) “I can’t. I just bought a Blackberry Smartphone – can someone show me how to use it?”

4) “I can’t. I’m waiting for the FBI to call.”

5) “I can’t. Not until my diapers get here.”

I admit it – I love weight-loss shows. Whether it’s celebrities getting fit or ordinary people eating lots of Subway and going through annoying challenges. But let me reiterate: I only support non-crash-dieting advocacy and condemn gross exploitive fattie-fat-fat stories. – Shaan

“Interviewing skills” are a handy talent to have when hosting a late night talk show. What’s also handy? Having a small mobile television set and some sort of celebrity with nothing to do for a couple of hours a day. Keep your phone line open, Angelina Jolie! – Shaan

Guess what?! Today I’m going to be fed intravenously with an IV drip of “Twinkie extract”! – Shaan

Who’s tougher, RoboCop, the molten T-1000 or the Terminator that, um, melts him to death? Discuss. – Kiran

                                                                        HAPPY 4TH OF JULY

Happy Birthday America! [cue Handel’s Messiah, ring church bells, light fireworks] – Kiran

Today, Big Bird is going to demonstrate his amazing ability to differentiate between the Olsen twins, Elmo and Shaan are building a giant periscope out of toilet paper rolls and I will be experimenting with “Pita Butter” (and loving it). – Kiran

SMILE OF THE DAY