August 21
Air conditioning is not just one of the most important summertime problems facing those of us living in the middle of harsh desert-like conditions – it is THE most important problem facing everyone. And because of the spike in gas prices, air conditioners are turning into machines that burn $100 bills to produce cool air. In fact, air conditioning has become so cost prohibitive that we have all resorted to using the cool setting on Mom’s blow dryer to blow our respective sweaty faces. – Shaan
If you aren’t ready for “Sweaty Sunday” you best step it up! The day’s theme will be retro-fitness which will include such classics as kickball and tetherball. And remember – no antiperspirants or deodorant. On “Sweaty Sundays” sweat is your friend: 1. Because when it is hot you get hot; 2. Sweat makes you cool; 3. After a while you get used to it. – Kiran
What’s everyone up to today? Shaan is crushing large blocks of ice with his bare hands, Zebbie is putting the final touches on his debut album “18 Songs About Golf”, Elmo is crashing an ex-unicorn support group and I’m doing anything that doesn’t involve physical exertion – maybe something involving a hammock. – Kiran
Have you heard? News on the street is that the very important “Back to School” retail sales numbers are down. I don’t know if this happened because no one has money so sales are very important, or if no one realizes that no one has money so buying things, no matter the cost, is still very important. – Shaan
Do you like this blue shirt? It’s made of from recycled beach pails. I love the beach. Caw! Caw! Caw! I’m a seagull. I just ate an entire box of Fruit Loops. I’m hungry again. Yelling. I am yelling! Arghghghgh! – Shaan
Buff-atude, the new gym around the block is charging $100 a month for membership privileges. One would think that hard times would drive people to replace their fancy gyms with heavy logs and Super Squats. As we all know, the most basic form of exercise consists of picking up something heavy and carrying it around.