Kiran and Shaan's World

NEW YEAR’S EVE – This movie, directed by Gary Marshall, bills itself as the “ultimate” romantic comedy, but “extreme” would probably be a better word. There are more than a dozen characters, all of which overlap and look for love in wholly different places, making the plot a hodge-podge of romantic cliches. And the movie features all kinds of love stories – about 73 – all of which are implausible and ridiculous. An inter-species romance between a cheetah and a panda? Someone finds Ricky Gervais sexy? And Natalie Portman plays the Secretary of State? Honestly the only way I’d watch this movie is if Meryl Streep stepped in for the Ashton Kutcher role. – Kiran

With the French and the Germans heading the negotiations regarding the debt crisis in Europe what could possibly go wrong? Here’s how I imagine the talks have been going:

Greece: Covered in olive oil and wearing a leotard. Greece doesn’t want any trouble and, frankly, just wants this whole thing over with.

Germany: Is in charge of smacking around France if it tries to sneak in without paying the cover charge. Again. Oh, and Germany buys the beer.

Spain: Doesn’t actually take part in the festivities, but does give everyone massages and makes sure everybody takes their shoes off before entering. (Whoops – sorry, that’s Japan.)

France: Keeps fighting the U.S. for alpha male status before relenting and just slipping everybody blue cheese-laced roofies. Insists on wearing a Tintin costume even when there’s no one in the room.

United States: Demands everyone’s attention but has difficulty getting a seat at the table and ends up tweeting itself in the corner. Does pay for the meals and everybody’s cab fare home though.

Italy: Everyone has to keep reminding Italy to wear pants.

                                                                                          SHAAN’S SCHOOL PHOTO

                                                                                             KIRAN’S SCHOOL PHOTO

Call me a pessimist, but despite the fact that this Fall weather is lovely, all I can think about is huddling in a doorway in January to get out of the way of scary winter winds and working on my long jump to avoid slushy corners. When the heat kicks on at the end of October, you know we’re going to be in trouble when February rolls around. I’m finally beginning to understand why old people move to Florida. Del Boca Vista, here I come! – Shaan

Some of you may have heard that Megatron broke up with his long time girlfriend Fabulous Maximus. Reports first indicated that it was an amicable break-up, that both parties would “remain friends”  and blah, blah, blah. But shortly after the news broke Megatron ended up at Cedars Sinai sporting facial bruises. A police report is now surfacing indicating Megatron claimed Fabulous threw several bricks through the windows of his Honda Civic and slapped him. Repeatedly. So she may have some anger-management issues. And brick-management issues. – Shaan

Dear Santa,

As impossible as it may seem, it’s actually November. Which means I’ve got but one thing on my mind…presents! I know – its a little early but I’m giving you a few weeks notice to make double sure you’ve got my Christmas wish list, unlike years past (Thanks again for that subscription to “Reader’s Digest”.)…ahem. Anywho, to avoid confusion, this year I’m spelling out exactly what it is I want…

1. Pickles – all varieties.
2. Books about forensics and the solving of crimes. Non-fiction only.
3. A Roomba
4. Little House on the Prairie Season 2 DVD collection (I already have Season 1)
5. Mrs. Fields peppermint bark
6. Home foot spa
7. Books about Freemasons. Again, non-fiction only.

The man who said he’d eat his own shoe if Big Bird’s book sold a million copies — it did and he did. Well, sort of – he ate some shoe-cake. – Shaan

VIDEO OF THE DAY

VIDEO OF THE DAY