June 17
Dear Kiran and Shaan’s World Staff:
We’d like to take a moment and provide some follow-up information to the memo you received earlier this month regarding the recent budget cuts we have been forced to implement. We are very sad to announce that based on the global economic situation and current business forecasts, the complimentary gold-plated sporks in the snack stations will be discontinued along with the interoffice commuting via Segway. In addition, please check the bulletin board on Monday when we will be rolling out a list of everyone’s new cubicle-mate. This will free up some much needed office space and also save on heat through the closeness of bodies.
Thanks to everyone for your anticipated cooperation during this time of transition.
Sincerely,
Kiran “The Guy Who Owns Five Cherry Red Diablo Roadsters With Fuchsia Pink Interiors” and Shaan “Bamillions” Thakur