January 18
MR. POTATOHEAD’S RULES FOR DATING
1. Avoid any girl who follows you on Twitter. She’s already stalking you.
2. Avoid Lindsey Lohan. She’s a walking time-bomb.
3. Avoid girls whose clothes are all retro, period costumes. Just trust me on this.
4. Avoid any girl you meet in the basement of The Knitting Factory. That’s Lindsey Lohan.
5. Avoid any girl with tattoos in Chinese. Unless, of course, she’s from China.