November 4
OMG! Did any of you see the photos the paparazzi took of Megatron shooting a whale with a laser gun the other day. Yeah, seriously. Then he ate some non-dolphin-safe tuna and kicked a crab. Right in the claw. True story. As for me, I love animals. Just yesterday I rescued a unicorn from the pound then rode down the beach helping baby seals find their mothers. Afterwards, to demonstrate my love of the sea, I went on a date with a mermaid. Or a manatee with a wig. Either way, I’m never go back to land-dwelling women again. – Shaan