April 17
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
The final five secret cylons are as follows:
1. Higgins from ‘Magnum P.I.’ (Get out! Really?)
2. Don Knotts (Don Knotts is dead? Hmmmm…scratch that.)
3. Paris Hilton (A direct descendant of Mohammed, a “socialite”, an actress and a pop star. What can’t this cylon accomplish?)
4. Elton John (I know, I love “Tiny Dancer” too, but he’s a cylon. How else can you explain “Honky Cat”?)
5. Ann Coulter (No surprises here.)