Why am I seeing so many women sporting terry tube tops? How can anything that is tightly elasticized across the chest and then billowy around the stomach be flattering? It can’t – unless slack-breasted and lumpy is the new borderline attractive and “pregnant” is the new skinny. Seriously, try typing “Terry Tube Top” into Google. The first thing that comes up: Mimi Maternity. – Shaan
Today, Shaan made his infamous Bacon-Fried Doughnut Cereal. To prove how good Bacon-Fried Doughnut Cereal is, I offer you this: I am eating it right now. As I type this. At 2:20 in the afternoon! This would get an A+ if it weren’t for the bacons’ tendency to stay at the bottom of the bowl. I don’t want to have to dig for those treasures. – Kiran
I used to like Tuesday. Sandwiched between the wack-a-doodle of Monday and the tedium of Wednesday, Tuesday used to be a buffer of soothing mediocre experiences. But in some misguided response to Thursday being the new Friday, Tuesday has become the new Wednesday – or Monday – or both. Want to schedule a 6 a.m. breakfast meeting? How’s Tuesday look for you? Family emergencies? Bad hair? Acts of God? Ah, Tuesday, I see you are a worthy opponent. (Wednesday, I didn’t mean all those things I said. Please call me. I know we can work it out.) – Shaan
Today is the best Monday ever! Why? Because it’s Vin Diesel’s 43rd birthday! To think, it was just 43 years ago that Vin was born into superstardom. Not a fan of The Pacifier? Then surely you can appreciate today’s other major birthday boy, Nelson Mandela, who turns 93. A great man, indeed, but can you really compare the impact of South African civil rights work to the life-changing experience of The Fast and the Furious? – Shaan
If you ask me, the secret to much of the Republican Party’s political success comes down to one secret ingredient: Ketchup. Because adding the red stuff to a burger would be a manufacturing job, you know, because it “makes” the burger. – Kiran
