As some of you know, Dad has been on a heath kick and juicing everything in sight. Personally, I’d like to see some non-citrus fruit smoothies. Sure, oranges and lemons are rich in vitamin C, but they’re also pretty boring. What he needs to do is Jamba it up a bit – maybe add some guavas and passion fruit and papayas and a brain booster supplement. Or maybe he just needs to start wearing a big fanny pack shaped like a pineapple. – Shaan
Lion-O and I are going to have an adventure. First someone’s got to get Mr. Potatohead out of Charlie Sheen’s house. I’m pretty sure I still know how to catch a bullet with my teeth but I doubt it will come to that. My plan is to throw some spare change at Charlie – while he’s busy picking up quarters, we’ll grab Mr. Potatohead and jump off the roof onto a waiting dinosaur. Then we’ll make our way to Mexico. There I’ll hand him off to Mrs. Potatohead or a cactus – whichever we meet first. – Kiran
Did you know Spiderman once funded an expedition to Krypton after seeing Superman Returns? This led to his casting in a Japanese Depends commercial to recover said financial loss. – Shaan
You know what I like to do on a hot summer night? Open the refrigerator. You know what else I like? A/C. A/C is amazing and beautiful. Why do I feel the need to to constantly lower my ambient body temperature? Because A/C makes you cool and strong like Fonzie. – Kiran
Everywhere you go everyone is talking about Kate Middleton and the Royal Baby Watch. Call me a curmudgeon, but I really, really, really do not need to see any more photos of Kate Middleton. I do not want to see her adjusting inflation, either. I do not want to see her eat beef jerky or have her hair done. Even seeing her at the local DMV applying for a license renewal is pushing it. – Shaan
Today I unleashed my new Darth Vader toothbrush – with its trademark super-high kick function and dual action karate chops. Brace yourself teeth! – Shaan
