Kiran and Shaan's World

I just overheard that Big Bird is writing a book about the travails of richy-rich debutantes. I’ve never written a book of fiction so I’m not in any real position to cast criticism, but that sounds like a pretty terrible premise. Where are the ninjas and the pirates and the evil doomsday-machines? I’m sure a story about spoiled kids drinking booze and buying Ferraris has potential, but if Big Bird really wants to take this thing seriously he should consider adding in some robots. A recent poll in Newsweek said that books with robots were 100% better than books without robots.* – Shaan

*Note: I didn’t bother to actually check Newsweek so this poll may or may not exist. I just assumed it did because it makes so much sense. Robots are awesome.

People already know what flavor I would be if I was an ice cream flavor.* – Shaan

*Answer: Cutey Coiffed Candy Corn

Some people are going to say that this is just a poorly-shot photo of me with dilated “crazy eyes”. Actually, this look is completely intentional. It’s my defensive “fake” smile. I whip it out like a stealthy ninja when:

1. My local Dunkin Donuts has run out of glazed donuts;
2. My girlfriend Kristine decides to have a five-hour conversation about throw pillows;
3. I’ve been ingesting health-endangering levels of candy corn all day; or
4. I am being tortured (Read: Kristine wants to go to Pottery Barn. Again.)

VIDEO OF THE DAY

I don’t care about the Civil War. At all. I never think about it, unless someone – usually a Southerner – brings it up. It’s like the South is some bitter ex-girlfriend whining about a breakup from 100 years ago. It scares me that the South actually feels like it should have won. I mean, if it won, then slavery would still be around. Why aren’t Southerners happy they lost? Okay, I suppose we’re all sorry about Sherman and breaking up Rhett and Scarlet.  But still – let it go already. – Shaan

Some people think that Iron Maiden were a bunch of British dudes with a penchant for spiked gauntlets and rad album covers. While that is technically accurate, most people overlook the fact that Iron Maiden also does a fine job covering historical conflicts like “The Battle of Abraham Lincoln vs. George Washington” and “The Robotech Wars”. – Kiran

Today, Mom and I made a meteor with my science kit. But just as soon as I completed making my space rock, it told me it needed to go immediately to New York because it wants to marry another rock. – Kiran

VIDEO OF THE DAY

VIDEO OF THE DAY