Kiran and Shaan's World

You know its time to do laundry when: a) Zebbie is wandering the neighborhood in his underwear; and b) Mom tells you to. – Kiran

A DAY WITH DAD AT GYMBOREE

When I ‘instant message’ I always use ’emoticons’. Today my emoticons started out :-/ then a little %-( but finally ended up :I. Elmo, on the other hand, was more like 8-P. – Kiran 

Oooooo…back rubs from Mom are the best. Her fingers are like little Swedish robotic massagers. (“Can someone fetch the massage oil please?”) – Kiran  

Sometimes, I paint a little mustache on Elmo and take him on tours through Mexico. They call him Senior Guapo and he is huge there. – Kiran

ON THE WAY TO GYMBOREE

Roads are really great. Without them we’d all need SUV’s in order to go from place to place because the ground would be all rocks and dirt and shrubs. But there’s another reason I like roads this morning – their endearing penchant for flatness and illegible handwriting. (Dyer Road wrote in my doodle book on our way to Gymboree. Her handwriting is impossible to decipher. I hope she wrote something funny. Or nice. Like a highschool yearbook. Maybe “BFF”. Or something.) – Kiran  

TOP 3 TIPS FOR SUMMER WEIGHT LOSS

It’s summer, and, let’s face it, none of us made our target swimsuit weight this year. Need more help than simple salad-eating? Here are some of my handy tips for weight loss: 1. Spend an extra 15 minutes at the gym squatting a truck; 2. Lose extraneous water weight by wearing an extra thick wool shawl wrap outdoors; and of course 3. Unbutton an extra button or two on your shirt so everyone’s focus is here, instead of, here. – Kiran

A DAY IN SIMI VALLEY

Here I am with my Chacha-ji. A couple of interesting tips he imparted to me today about how to be manly hot: 1. Oil you’re pecs (Chacha-ji says chicks dig it. Duly noted.); 2. Letter in ‘Ultimate Fighting’ in highschool (Check.); and 3. Always listen to your sensei (…like that double black belt I fought in my last karate tournament. No matter what his sensei told him, he was never able to sweep my leg. I’ll admit, he had spirit, but to be fair, I’m Cobra Kai. We do not train to be merciful. Mercy is for the weak.)

[Editor’s Note: Score one point if you can correctly identify the movie reference above. Subtract three points if you’ve ever watched ‘The Next Karate Kid’.]

A bowl of red M&Ms!? For me? Thank you Chairman Meow! What? You individually scratched off the ‘&’ from every M&M and replaced it with a tiny drawing of a dog? You are so talented. – Kiran  

To all the shorties and mamacitas in the hiz-ouse: Y’all better watch out, because my new hair cut is looking so hot Al Gore’s going to need to regulate it to prevent global warming. – Kiran