August 4
A DAY IN SIMI VALLEY
Here I am with my Chacha-ji. A couple of interesting tips he imparted to me today about how to be manly hot: 1. Oil you’re pecs (Chacha-ji says chicks dig it. Duly noted.); 2. Letter in ‘Ultimate Fighting’ in highschool (Check.); and 3. Always listen to your sensei (…like that double black belt I fought in my last karate tournament. No matter what his sensei told him, he was never able to sweep my leg. I’ll admit, he had spirit, but to be fair, I’m Cobra Kai. We do not train to be merciful. Mercy is for the weak.)
[Editor’s Note: Score one point if you can correctly identify the movie reference above. Subtract three points if you’ve ever watched ‘The Next Karate Kid’.]