This is my speech professor Katie. (Hi Katie!) This week we’ve been studying elocution, which basically involves rearranging words that were once said in the “subjunctive” tense into the “pluperfect-present” tense. It requires Socratic-like oratory skills, iron-will concentration and lightening fast reflexes. Oh right, and sometimes an acute French accent. – Kiran
Tomorrow is Martin Luther King’s Day. How am I going to celebrate? By lobbying for a holiday in my own honor. Kiran Thakur Day will celebrate the day I founded the Suffragette Movement, established the NAACP and instigated the Boston Tea Party. True story. – Kiran
Saturday and Sunday are supposed to be the two days of the week when we’re free to be ourselves. No work means the days are wide open – the tie goes on the rack and the weekend is filled with candy-themed meals. Today’s menu: Buttermilk pancakes made with Twix, then a late afternoon Twix fritter followed by filet mignon in a Twix-wine sauce and garnished with dried Twix. (A strong glass of Twix-infused grappa is optional.) – Kiran
You know, I really think it’s time for everyone to cool it with all the produce jewelry. And please tell me you’re not wearing shallots wrapped around your neck. – Kiran
Last week I joined our auxillary neighborhood watch group. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I’m charged with patrolling our block and keeping an eye out for would be evil-doers. There’s no need to pay me for this service, but if you must, I only deal in one kind of currency: Chocolate Chip Cookies. I assure you it’s purely for economic reasons based on the weak American dollar and the Cookie Monster has nothing to do with it – even though he is my accountant. – Kiran
How was my blind date with Amber? Well, we met for coffee at The Coffee Bean. I was wearing a blue plaid dress shirt tucked into khaki trousers and my emo glasses. She was wearing, um, well, I don’t know – I guess I felt like her “giant flaming skull with eagle wings” chest tattoo didn’t really go with her Victoria’s Secret Valentine’s Day camisole with hearts all over it. My witty banter was met with her arms crossed – clearly a bad sign. But then she mentioned how she loved “High School Musical – The Ice Tour”. ME TOO! (Brian Boitano was perfectly cast as Troy Bolton!) Then the reflection of the candlelight flickered in my glasses and I leaned in laughing as she scooted her chair around to my side of the table. Later that night, she and I kissed like we’d never kissed before. (See photo for re-enactment.) Huh? Uhhhhh…right Mom! That’s what I meant to say. We hugged. (No, no, Dad – not now. You’re going to have to give me that high-five later.) – Kiran
Why the long face today? My agent Ari just called and said I didn’t get the role of the forensics intern in CSI: Miami – The Musical. He said I probably would have gotten the part if I hadn’t insisted on delivering the dialogue with an accent during the audition. But here’s the thing: As an actor, I make big choices and my choice that day was Cockney. (“Well it seemed like the right choice at the time.”) – Kiran
Why has my fan mail recently become so, um, how shall I put this, odd? A sampling of sentiments expressed: “There is no other person on this earth that can ever hold the tremendous power that you have. You are a role model to everyone.” And: “You are a glorious supernova of life. You are a star and no one can take that away from you.” And: “You are a giver of life, carrier of hope and bringer of joy.” There are three possible answers to this question: A) They’re way too insane to be real; B) They’re real; or C) Our mail got switched with Britney Spears or Kim Jong-il. – Kiran
HAPPY LOHRI EVERYONE!
You know, the good thing about weekends is it gives you time to relax. But what to do with that extra freedom? Flirting via text message on my iPhone. But be warned: Clumsy thumbs can render “Spending time with you makes me happy” into “Spenging time with toe make me happen.” – Kiran