November 8
What am I doing? Just mentally preparing for tomorrow’s exam. As some of you know, applicants to the prestigious Riverdale Preschool Academy must take and pass their scholastic aptitude test. Russell scored a copy of last season’s grueling exam:
Question 1: Estimate the number of manhole covers in Los Angeles. Assess the global economic impact of the removal of said manhole covers and their subsequent transfer to emerging markets with significant levels of interest rate volatility. Bonus: Solve Fermat’s last theorem.
Question 2: In the New Testament where Jesus said “Dude, maybe try different activities besides the eucharistic adulation thing”; to which of the apostles did Jesus teach this valuable lesson? Was it Philip of Galilee or Simon the Canaanite?
Question 3: In the African Serengeti, you are likely to encounter such creatures as the Wildebeest and the Water Buffalo. During the Spring are they: A.) galloping or grazing as expected; B.) testing the waters of public opinion; or C.) going “full frontal”?
To be quite honest, the test has me a little worried. But I think a spotless academic record and a few notable extracurricular accomplishments goes a long way in the preschool admissions process. – Huh?! WHOA! What do you mean it was a faux pas to wear a bathing suit to the admissions interview last week?! – Kiran