April 6
I’ve had my share of harrowing inebriated cheese hangovers before, but OMG here’s the real deal: After three buckets of Cheez Things and maybe one too many lite cottage cheese smoothies at last night’s poker game, this morning I awoke inexplicably covered in stickers, a seriously Botoxed Elmo is passed out on the couch and I lost one of my contact lenses. – Kiran