June 1
YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE
Today marks the beginning of our 12-day astrological forecasts for the month June. We consulted a friend in the Shamanic community who suggested some power animals to accentuate our predictions.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): [Power animal: Paris Hilton’s assistant] You know the lay-offs at your firm are inevitable, but you have options. You can file for unemployment, ask your friends if there are any openings at their offices, or you can put that expensive Christmas gift your boss gave you on eBay. Sure, it was a generous gesture, but that Kindle is worth, like, $400.